For whatever reason I’ve had a slow mental/emotional start to 2015. Where I wish I was jumping into work and projects with the renewed motivation at a fresh start, I’m dragging my feet. I have a feeling, though, that what I need is a “ripping of the band aid,” as they say, and all will (likely, hopefully) be well. :) And that’s exactly what’s happening today.
How’s the new year been for you?
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One of her favorite things, and one of mine. :)
I feel like I’m always saying this, but life has been b-u-s-y lately. My WORD, I wouldn’t be keeping it all straight if it weren’t for 2 calendars and 3 to-do lists on 2 separate devices. It’s the multifaceted juggling that’s keeping me on the tip of my toes: class and homework, practicum work (paperwork!), house/mom work. I give myself talk therapy every night in order to shut my brain down and fall asleep.
I really do have terrible insomnia (ask Nate. he’s often the victim of my not wanting to be an insomniac alone at 3 in the morning. sorry babe). According to WebMD: Insomnia is a sleep disorder that is characterized by difficulty falling and/or staying asleep. People with insomnia have one or more of the following symptoms:
- Difficulty falling asleep
- Waking up often during the night and having trouble going back to sleep
- Waking up too early in the morning
- Feeling tired upon waking
Yep. All the above. And since it’s been happening off and on since my freshman year of college, I think it’s safe to say it’s chronic. But that is for a different post on a different day.
What I really meant to say was that within the busyness of last week, I had a moment. I was walking down the street to class, the fresh air and sunshine gave this really positive moment of clarity, and I recognized there would come a day when I would miss the consistency and purpose of being a student. There’s a familiarity and a safety about the routine of going to class. Now I am not normally someone tied to routine. But I am someone entirely passionate about purpose. So after 4 years with the clear purpose of learning (which I also love doing), I will miss it. Maybe not right away, maybe not for 12 months (or more). But that day will come where I will think of it longingly. And maybe after 10 years of thinking longingly I’ll go ahead and get my PhD already. ;)
Sadly our schedules rarely overlap these days. I mean, I’ll take this over her being in Africa any day, but still- time and space for catching up and processing the details of life are few and far between. As such, the hours this past Sunday morning were pretty valued. She’s one of a kind, this girl. Love her. :)
My sister-in-law, Rachel, spent her fall break with us a few weekends ago. :) With a mutual love for arcade games, the brother and sister spent some time at Dave & Busters, and collectively we did some walking, shopping, and of course, eating.
Do any of you who blog out there ever feel massively immobilized putting words down on the screen? There are days I analyze and over analyze until a perfectly decent paragraph of a post is chopped down to a few sentences, a sentence, then erased. Good grief. I worry about the nature of the topic, the way I come across, and whether or not any of it matters. I suspect it’s my streak of inexorable perfectionism mixed with some residual self-doubt of my adolescence. Bah. So immature. ;) But whatever the case, sometimes I just want to throw caution to the wind and publish a stream of consciousness that’s entirely irrelevant (yet also fascinating). Alas, there is only one Kendi (who is both fascinating AND witty – I hate her), so I will post this (maybe) with entirely unrelated photos of a recent date night, and call it a day.