a new year

For whatever reason I’ve had a slow mental/emotional start to 2015. Where I wish I was jumping into work and projects with the renewed motivation at a fresh start, I’m dragging my feet. I have a feeling, though, that what I need is a “ripping of the band aid,” as they say, and all will (likely, hopefully) be well. :) And that’s exactly what’s happening today.

How’s the new year been for you?

breakfast cereal and neck rolls

One of her favorite things, and one of mine. :)

I feel like I’m always saying this, but life has been b-u-s-y lately. My WORD, I wouldn’t be keeping it all straight if it weren’t for 2 calendars and 3 to-do lists on 2 separate devices. It’s the multifaceted juggling that’s keeping me on the tip of my toes: class and homework, practicum work (paperwork!), house/mom work. I give myself talk therapy every night in order to shut my brain down and fall asleep.

I really do have terrible insomnia (ask Nate. he’s often the victim of my not wanting to be an insomniac alone at 3 in the morning. sorry babe). According to WebMD: Insomnia is a sleep disorder that is characterized by difficulty falling and/or staying asleep. People with insomnia have one or more of the following symptoms:

  • Difficulty falling asleep
  • Waking up often during the night and having trouble going back to sleep
  • Waking up too early in the morning
  • Feeling tired upon waking

Yep. All the above. And since it’s been happening off and on since my freshman year of college, I think it’s safe to say it’s chronic. But that is for a different post on a different day.

What I really meant to say was that within the busyness of last week, I had a moment. I was walking down the street to class, the fresh air and sunshine gave this really positive moment of clarity, and I recognized there would come a day when I would miss the consistency and purpose of being a student. There’s a familiarity and a safety about the routine of going to class. Now I am not normally someone tied to routine. But I am someone entirely passionate about purpose. So after 4 years with the clear purpose of learning (which I also love doing), I will miss it. Maybe not right away, maybe not for 12 months (or more). But that day will come where I will think of it longingly. And maybe after 10 years of thinking longingly I’ll go ahead and get my PhD already. ;)

because it’s tuesday

Do any of you who blog out there ever feel massively immobilized putting words down on the screen? There are days I analyze and over analyze until a perfectly decent paragraph of a post is chopped down to a few sentences, a sentence, then erased. Good grief. I worry about the nature of the topic, the way I come across, and whether or not any of it matters. I suspect it’s my streak of inexorable perfectionism mixed with some residual self-doubt of my adolescence. Bah. So immature. ;) But whatever the case, sometimes I just want to throw caution to the wind and publish a stream of consciousness that’s entirely irrelevant (yet also fascinating). Alas, there is only one Kendi (who is both fascinating AND witty – I hate her), so I will post this (maybe) with entirely unrelated photos of a recent date night, and call it a day.

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