(I am obviously smiling about her rolls here, and not the impending doom)
Sweet Lucille had a doctors appointment last week. Seven months of motherhood and I am noticing a pattern the week prior – nerves. It’s the shots mostly – they catch her off guard. I mean seriously, a stranger wins you over for about 15 minutes of cooing, and playing, and complimenting your proportions, perfect head shape, sitting posture, how chill you are. And the next thing you know, she sends in a friend you think you can now also trust – who sticks you with needles several times and runs away. Who wouldn’t feel like crying? Especially when you look at the person you think is supposed to protect you, and she’s helping the stranger hold you still. Betrayal.
So there’s the nerves about the shots. But there’s also the unavoidable insecurity. I end up second guessing everything I do as a mother, and assume the doctor is going to tell me I’ve had it all wrong since our last appointment. And there were more things to mess up this time – solids, sunscreen, schedules – all the things I guess at (with the exception of sunscreen), and fumble through. I was convinced she was going to tell me Lucille was way too chubby and way too tan – despite my slathering her with 50 spf. Which is completely ridiculous because it’s possible I have the sweetest doctor practicing pediatric medicine. Heather must have reassured me 20 times prior to the appointment that she would absolutely not criticize me, then after meeting Dr. M, turned to me later and incredulously asked “did you really, HONESTLY think that doctor was going to give you a hard time?!”
She had nothing but praise for Luce, and said multiple times I was doing a great job – putting my nerves at bay until the next appointment of course. ;)
how she later felt about my betrayal ^^