just keeping it real

Full disclosure: I take depression medication.

My approach to this blog has never really exuded direction/thematic clarity, but I will say that I’m conscious of keeping things fairly light.  I’m in my own head enough, and it’s good practice for me to focus on the good of life like Henry, friendship, or (obviously) food.  I also assume that you, as the reader, are very probably not looking for heavy reading material on the travails of a 28 year-old, when your life has plenty of its own.

But I wonder sometimes about blogging/bloggers.  We all get to put our best online foot forward.  I show you adventures, and parties, and days at the beach.  I pick my best photos, from my better moments.  This whole veil I can so perfectly pull leads people to say things to me like, “You guys always look like you’re having so much fun!” or “I just want your life!”

Okay, people.  While these things are my reality, they’re only part of it.

So a bit of honesty regarding that which is much easier to keep private- I went three days without taking my medication (unintentional) last weekend, and two days ago, I hit a wall.  Hard.  Things like getting dressed (or moving) felt massively difficult.

It’s irritating because I know it’s circumstantial and will pass, but knowing that doesn’t help the dramatic immobility.

Honestly though, things could be so much worse.  I mean, Allison who just returned to Africa already has malaria (so sorry, friend).

a week with allison

I’ve mentioned this girl many times on my blog.  She was my college roommate, my colleague/fellow first grade teacher for three years, housemate, bridesmaid, support system during the summer of tumor, and best friend for a decade.

She up and moved to Africa (for the second time) last summer, but was able to come home for Christmas this year.  She spent majority of her time with family in New York, but made her way to Los Angeles at the start of 2012, where I had the absolute privilege of reconnecting with her.  We talked, laughed, drank coffee, shopped till she dropped (preparing for a year of living in a remote village with no electricity or running water), cried, and cried again as we hugged goodbye at the airport.

Allison has been a loyal, generous friend to me.  And by generous I mean with her love, time, patience, understanding, and so on.  Truly… more like a sister than a friend.

Follow her life and adventures on her blog (I think you’ll love it).

Love you and miss you already, Al…

settlers of catan

This post is a little late… Zach and Abi had us over 2 weekends ago!  But it was such a fun night and I am so thankful to have made great friends in them.

I’m super competitive, and it’s hard for me to shut that off during games that are supposed to be fun (but seriously, are games really fun if you’re not winning?!).  I usually try and avoid competitive situations as a way of keeping my dark side under control, but when the Smiths asked us over, I did some self-talk before hand about not getting carried away.  I really was okay with losing, but… I won.  Sorry guys.  :)

weekend with family

I returned to Pasadena in the early morning hours today from a few days in Phoenix visiting family… The weekend was many good things, including hours of quality conversation, and a photo shoot (finally) for new Mayfly pieces- coming soon!

Hope you had a good weekend as well!

shop my closet

The mayshowers shop is modestly stocked at the moment (more items to come!)…           but you can still find these while they last:

mayshowers.bigcartel.com

friday favorite: trader joe’s

 Great food, great prices.  Enough said.

Check them out HERE.

Okay, almost enough said.  In a culture of endless options, and groceries like Walmart and Meijer, TJ’s simplifies life in a way that is refreshing rather than limiting.

Also, interesting fact, the very first Trader Joe’s opened in Pasadena in 1967…

more on the new year

I was driving home from nannying the other night, listening to Geographer, and it was the sounds and dynamics, and the way it was moving me forward… I went through the motions of driving, but my mind was other places.  I was acutely aware of the passage of time in that moment, and the not so unusual questions of life moved through my mind.  I sometimes feel surprised that we’re living in Los Angeles, and that I’m a student again.  None of this could have been envisaged five years ago, as it’s so very far outside of what would have seemed possible.

Over Christmas break, my dad asked Nate and me what we thought about our first five years of marriage- the good and bad, the revelations, expectations- unmet or otherwise.  And we both responded with these same thoughts- surprising.  We’ve moved a lot, changed a lot, and done a lot of unexpected things (that sometimes make me insecure, and sometimes make me proud).

 I remember telling a friend five years ago that I disliked the process of life.  That I wanted to find answers and “just arrive already” at the right job, a sense of identity, a clear passion to pursue.  Five years later, and I find myself now keen on the process, which is a very good thing, since life is the process.  Letting go of all this arrival conversation has given me freedom- to let go of the anxieties of missing something or wasting time, or failing.  All that.

Whereas 2011 gave us a bit of reprieve from the previous year of illness and transition, 2012 fills me with a strong sense of unknowns.  And that is okay.  After a long conversation with Allison last week, I felt able to let go of some things I’ve held onto for a long time, and further lean into being adaptable to wherever life and God might take us.  I’m excited and resolved at this fresh start.

year in review

2011 meant:

• a momentous year for Mayfly
• the start of a new food lifestyle (plant-based)
• becoming an aunt to baby boy Henry
• making new friends
• joining a book club
• a wedding in a hurricane
• five years of marriage
• a Noel Gallagher concert
• Master Chef, May Edition

A few more reflective thoughts to come later…

more of the mays

 I found another group of unposted photos from May Christmas (dad’s side), and couldn’t resist offering you further glimpses into my wonderful family…

My aunt Karla has handmade/hand painted ornaments for my extended family every year, for as long as I can remember.  My tree is made up almost entirely of Karla masterpieces, and the reveal of the year’s new gem is a highlight of the holiday for me.

I couldn’t resist the last three (of course).

because it’s been a while…